Effort or Ease – Getting Things Done

I was reminded recently that there are both easy and difficult ways to accomplish things. A story my friend Jim told me about moving a large rock is a good illustration of how working with the universal energies can make things so much easier than just doing things on our own.

Jim was working at a retreat center whose mission was recording the teachings of the world’s elders. They wanted to get videos of these elders while they were still able to pass on their knowledge and wisdom. When the elders came to the center, workshops and opportunities to meet with them were also offered.

Dealing with a Difficult Relationship – A Process for Change

A friend of mine recently was having trouble with her daughter-in-law. There were all kinds of accusations about my friend not helping enough, not doing things with the grandchildren, etc., none of which were actually true, and which were obviously excuses or ways to rationalize a deeper agenda. My friend was at her wit’s end about how to best handle this.

 When we are emotionally mired in a situation ourselves it can be hard to get any nice, clear guidance about how to handle it. Our emotions can plug up the pathways through which good guidance would normally come to us. 

RESET – Refresh Your Mind and Emotions

When things get messed up on a webpage we can click the REFRESH button. When an electronic device doesn’t work right we can do a RESET by shutting it down then restarting it, or taking out the batteries and then restarting.

But what about when our minds feel overloaded or our emotions are all tangled up or we’re just plain stressed out? Wouldn’t it be nice to do a reset or refresh? The following is a suggestion of how to do just that.

“I know what to do now” – the power of being in the flow

Yesterday I spoke with a friend who was trying to decide when to retire. He had a bunch of conflicting feelings and was deadlocked within himself about what to do.

We discussed it for a while. When the conversation switched to what I was doing, I told him about the questions I had been working with (see March 28 post – “The Power of Inquiry”). The questions are for dealing with things that are bothering us – things we find upsetting, that bug us, etc.

To better explain what I was doing, I asked if he would like to try the process. He agreed and we chose something he had seen the day before which he thought was just awful. “How could someone do something like that!”

We started with The Work questions and Turnarounds and then moved into the “That’s Better” process. It went quite well and the event which had been a source of anger became instead, something which brought him an empowering gift.

As we rejoiced in this new perspective I saw a chance to get some extra benefit from his being-in-the-flow state. I suggested he listen to whatever popped up in his mind when I asked a question.

“What would be the best thing to do about retiring?”

He immediately got a clear answer which felt right, and was sensible, too. Hurray!

When we are in the flow of well being the clarity of what to do comes so much more easily.

The Power of Inquiry – “That’s Better!” and The Work of Byron Katie

2 Sets of Questions to help us see the truth more clearly 
and enter the flow of well being.

The “That’s Better!” Process
Dealing with something upsetting that keeps coming up in our minds.

1) “If ____ sticks in my mind there is something valuable in it for me.”
If it were NOT something worthwhile, it would drift by and not be considered.

A reminder of this is good at the beginning. It sets the stage for the rest of the process.

2) “_____ is now in my life, so it is part of my life story.”
Whether I like it or not, this image/event/idea has now been included in the story of my life. I cannot pretend it away or erase it. It is now part of the script in my life’s drama. If I don’t accept this fact I will not be able to be in the truth. 

3) Ask, “What does this image/event/idea have to offer me?” 
List multiple possibilities of what this could offer – both helpful and unhelpful, no limits. Just let ideas come to mind without evaluating them.

The Flow of Well Being – 1st blog post!

This blog has been set up as a place to share insights, ideas, tools and thoughts I find useful in becoming more consciously aware of the ever-present flow of well being. “The Flow of Well Being” Facebook page has links to videos, webs and writings on this topic. This blog will be for longer posts.

Matthieu Ricard, a Tibetan monk, described it well in a Ted.com lecture. He spoke about how our emotions are like the waves, they rise and fall. When something good happens we are happy, but after a while that feeling fades. 

If we go beneath the waves of the surface to the deep constancy which is ever-present below, we can experience the well being which is always here.  

As we move into awareness of that underlying flow of well being, we exist more and more in a state which is steady and enduring. We can then ride the waves of emotion with more pleasure and make better choices along the way, too!